Why happiness isn’t a one-size fits all

BY Amanda Smith


15 December 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Happiness. We all want it.

It’s the one thing that connects us all. Ask anyone what they want for their life, and their answer will probably be… ‘to be happy.’

But when it comes to happiness, there’s not one size that fits all. Not one specific thing makes everyone happy. Sure, there are certain things that bring us joy, like our partner, friends, family, career and travel. We could go on for days about everything that makes us love our lives.

And that’s the point here. Happiness looks different for everyone.

Take my sister and I for example. We were both brought up in the same house, by the same parents. We went to the same school, both played sport, had great friendship groups and social lives. We got good grades and went off to study after graduating. But after that, it was only our genetics that we had in common.

10 years later, she is still with the same guy she was dating at sixteen years old. He’s now her husband and they have a house and two kids together. Oh, and four pets. She loves her vet nursing job which she’s been doing since she left school. Life is great.

Now, let’s look at my life. I have two degrees and two businesses. I’m my own boss and I couldn’t imagine living life on anyone else’s watch. I’m single and I don’t own a house. I’ve spent nearly a year living in Bali and I’m about to move to the states. I’ve been to over 30 countries. I find home in many places and people. I have great friends, I’m close with my nephews, and I love my life.

See, two very different situations but we’re both happy.

We can control our happiness

Happiness is just as much as internal as it is external. Heck, it’s predominately internal. And the great thing about this is we have the power to control and change it.

It’s our attitude towards life that matters. Abraham Lincoln once said that people can be as happy or as unhappy as they make up their mind to be.

Without going too much into theories like ‘law of attraction’ what I’m trying to say is this: Happiness isn’t this big, mystical thing. It’s simply focusing on thoughts, rather than things. This is where a lot of people get it wrong. They think happiness is something tangible; something they have to see.

For example, ‘When I get that pay rise, I’ll be happy.’ Or, ‘When I meet my soul mate, I’ll be content.’ See, we’re focusing on a something. The problem here is, once we actually do get the thing we want and we’ve had it for some time, the novelty starts to wear off. And we’re back to looking at our happiness as something we’re lacking.
Ponder this for a bit…

If happiness is what you want, then why not make up your mind to be happy. Make a conscious effort to be happy. Don’t wait for things to happen that will one day make you happy.

You will notice things start to happen in your life. Like with the law of attraction, ‘like attracts like.’ By focusing on positive thoughts, you can bring positivity and happiness into your life, and now.
Don’t wait for it. Don’t get swayed by the ‘shoulds’ and ‘what ifs’. Don’t listen to what society tells you. Your life is yours to create. Find your own happiness.

Like what you see?
Subscribe now to receive regular updates